Phase

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Phase

[feyz]

a stage in a process of change or development

A lot has happened in the last few months.  The most substantial is that I’ve made a decision for the next phase of my life.  About two months ago, on a Sunday morning, I woke up feeling a little disconcerted.  I started scrolling through Facebook and saw a bunch of different pictures, some from California, others from Alaska, a few from random parts of the world, and even though most of them weren’t from home, I had this strange feeling that I wanted to be home.  Like it was time to be home.  I began to entertain the thought and wondered what my life would look like if I moved back.  It wasn’t even five minutes before another idea struck me.  Life Coach.  I have always loved helping people, listening to people, being there for people… why not make a profession out of it?  I’ve always said that whatever I do in life, I have to work with people and be able to love them.  I began research immediately and became overwhelmed with the information I found, the possibility of making this a reality!  I was hesitant to share my idea too quickly because I didn’t want this all to come from a feeling of “homesickness.”  Every day that followed, I became more and more excited to the point that I wanted my last few months here to pass quickly!

Since then, I have registered for two courses.  One is a Lifecoach course that will take anywhere from nine months to a year to complete – depending on how much time I can dedicate to it.  The other is a Wellcoach course – specific to health/fitness/wellness… my passion… and is 18 weeks long.  With these classes, I have added five hours of work to my week – not including readings and follow-ups.  I have also added other extracurricular activities that make my time at home very minimal.  Needless to say, these months have been passing quickly.  Too quickly in fact!  Since that day of disconcertment, my mentality has flipped again, 180 degrees.  I’ve fallen in love with everything that I’m doing here, all over again.  It’s possible that this new found appreciation has come knowing that it may all end before I know it.  Hearing my students tell me they will miss me and will cry at the going away part they want to throw for me, almost makes me want to change my mind!  Being with my two little girls has me dreading the day I will have to say goodbye.  Spending time with the friends I met only a short time ago has me wishing I had more time with them.  Sitting on a terrace at 10pm as the sun is beginning to go down, enjoying the warm weather and ambiance of “no pasa nada” felt from the surrounding culture, has me really second guessing if this is what I really want to do.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.  I have always said that I will stay in Spain until the government kicks me out or I feel that it is time to go.  As most of you know, I have had problems with my visa from day one.  Eventually I decided not to care anymore and let it take its own course.  By the way, I finally got approved for my 2nd year visa in April… The same one I applied for last May!  In order to apply for a visa for next year, I would have to again say that I’m a student and find a school willing to say I am studying there… Unfortunately being a student of life doesn’t qualify for a student visa.  I had a conversation with my cousin awhile back about this situation.  He said, Sarah, you should never have to lie to get things done your way.  Look at Abraham.  When he entered into cities he told the people that his wife was his sister so that he would not be killed.  God was like, bro – that was unnecessary.  Where is your faith?  Don’t you know that I will take care of you and provide for you?  Abraham did what he thought he had to do for his safety instead of trusting God to handle the situation.  In a similar way, I have done the same thing with my visa.  And now here is God saying, “Sarah – mah lady, don’t you know that I will take care of you and provide for you?  If I want you to be in Spain, I will make that happen in a legal way so that you will not have to lie or bend the truth.”  So in a roundabout way, the government is “kicking me out” as I also feel it is time to leave…

The love I have for this country and for its people cannot be described with words.  I know that my future here isn’t over.  I am so young with so many years ahead of me.  I still have the travel bug and I promise you all right now that I will continue to live globally, as the world is my best teacher.  There is something I need to do at home, there is a reason I need to be there.  I don’t entirely know what it is at this point, but I am being pulled, so I will go.  As a Lifecoach, I will be able to work from anywhere which is a very comforting thought.

Living in Spain has taught me many things.  One of which, is the significance of family.  The closeness of family here is incredible.  As my Spanish family has adopted me and brought me in to their life, I have been able to witness first hand, the family values and importance of family.  While I love my family, being physically apart from them didn’t faze me too much in the beginning as we have a great tool in technology.  But there is something to be said for physical proximity.  This year my mother was in Alaska, my father in Texas, brother in Afghanistan, family in Colorado, family in California, and me here in Spain.  Typical America… but not ideal – especially now as my outlook on family importance has changed.  It isn’t likely that we will all live in the same place, let alone the same state!  But being in the same country at the same time right now has significantly increased in importance.

What happens next?  To be honest, I’m not completely sure.  But I’m ok with that.  I plan to move home in October.  I’m excited for the next phase of my life.  I’m excited to begin my new career.  And more than anything, I’m excited to see what my future holds.  It’s a new phase… but it’s only the beginning.

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About sayadiosamerica

Hi. My name is Sarah and that is one thing that will never change. As for the rest of me, I've decided to dance life's tango. And maybe, just maybe... I will become Sarai.
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